try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
