Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
