I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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