Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
