Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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