her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize