We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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