what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
