Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
