Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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