It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
