I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
