only you would photoshop your dick
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
