She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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