I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
