i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Will exercising make me less horny?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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