I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize