Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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