Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
