May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize