I smell stomach acid.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize