yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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