I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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