Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My vagina is officially offended.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
