apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
