Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
