his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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