He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
