I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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