Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
