I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
