he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
