i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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