You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So apparently I’m into choking now
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
