I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
