Nicole vs. Life
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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