Reggie can tackle my bush.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
