I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
