so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
