You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
