i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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