He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize