he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
