he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize