I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
