Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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