My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
babies were throwing up all over the place
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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