She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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