Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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