she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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