how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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