I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
