So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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