You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
