why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize