Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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