Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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