If that was your dad, he is hot
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
