two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
