I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
